Mental Wellness Challenge: Day 2

Hello all!

So today is day 2 of the #13914MWC and this one is also a "fun" one depending on how you're feeling or where you are in life's journey, as I am encouraging you all to make a list of 10 things that make you happy!

I say that it depends on how you are feeling or where you are in your journey of life because sometimes it's so easy to let things get us in a funk and not count our blessings or you could be going through something where you don't know what makes you happy. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get transparent and keep it all the way real with you all...

Life comes at you fast chile. I had this thing about calling people "weak-willed" and never understood how people let themselves get into a situation where their life's plans were contingent on the person's they were with...until I became the person I talked about. In my last relationship, I started out super ambitious, I had a plan of where I was going and what I wanted to do. We were together for awhile and eventually I let their plans for our life and their career goals take more importance over my own. After all, his plans were more "practical" and made the most sense, provided better for the life we lived and planned to live. Things happened along the way and I no longer recognized myself. I was caught up in that person and what I thought they wanted and needed me to be as well as living up to other people's expectations for us and timelines, until one day  had enough. I didn't know what made me happy, the lines were blurred as far as what I ACTUALLY enjoyed and things I enjoyed because we were together. I think when you don't know yourself getting into a relationship, that can be a gateway to a disaster, so it's super important to have an idea of who you are by allowing God to define you and not other people, so that you don't experience what I did.

Now that I've taken awhile to get to know myself, build myself back up, and began seeing myself the way God sees me...I am happy. I am content with where I am, where I am going, and the work that he is doing within me! I am by no means perfect and I still have character flaws that I am working through on a daily basis, but I am at peace with myself. A year and a half ago I think my list would have been SUPER sparse based off the head space that I was in. Now I am at a place where making this list was difficult because I had to narrow it down. Being in a space where you find joy in the little things is so beautiful, less exhausting, and definitely the space that I want to remain in! So with that being said...

In no particular order, here is my list of 10 things that make me happy:

1. Writing.
2. Music.
3. Spending time with my family and friends.
4. Alone time to reflect.
5. Champagne.
6. Great food.
7. Seeing and feeling the results from working out.
8. Seeing God's artwork through nature.
9. Giving back/ doing philanthropic work.
10. Educating people on various things.




So a quick break down of my 10:

1. I  L O V E writing!
I've loved writing since I was about 5 or 6. Fun fact: my first grade teacher Ms. Athey told my mom I was going to be an author, I believe it. Whether it's a book manuscript, television script, movie script, or blog post..you can find me stressed ( good stress...if that's a thing lol) trying to perfect it, but happy I'm doing something I love.

2. MUSIC ... Man music is something I honestly can not live without. 90% of the time when people ask what I'm doing my response is, "Sitting here doing blazae blazae and listening to music. I love every genre of music, I could listen to Anita Baker, Biggie, Kirk Franklin, and Luke Bryan all in one day.

3. Spending time with my family and friends is one of my favorite past times. They really bring me joy and laughter and there's nothing like being around people who know you and love you. I'm super family-oriented so my future husband has to be the same way.

4. Alone time to reflect is one of my favorite past times as well. Singleness definitely taught me to enjoy my own company, although I stayed in my own world in a relationship too...that's neither here nor there. But I have always loved spending time alone to reflect on life and just take in the moment.

5. Champagne is definitely an acquired taste and I only know one other person, my Line Sister, who loves it as much as I do. I love the sound of the cork popping and taking in a crisp sip of bubbly!

6. Great food makes me happyyyyy chile. I L O V E food. Like...love it! People are always like how do you stay so small and eat so much...I just want to thank God for genetics and the BAWDY he has blessed me with. lol.

7. Seeing and feeling the results from working out is on my happy list because I used to hate working out, until one day, I decided I was going to work out for myself and not because I felt forced to. So seeing the results from my hard work, my abs pushing through and my tush looking RIGHT...makes me smile.

8. Seeing God's artwork through nature is one of those things what I mean enjoying the little things. Blessings don't always have to be extravagant or materialistic. Have you ever just stepped out on a balcony and looked a sunset or looked up at the stars covering the sky all while listening to the waves of an ocean, JOY.

9. Giving back and doing philanthropic work definitely feels good to the soul and makes me happy. So many of us forget that we have basic necessities and then some, while families are homeless, hungry, don't have clean water, their health is declining, etc. One of the ways I love giving back is through my foundation, The Sorella Foundation. You can click the link if you'd like more information!

10. Educating people on various things is one of my favorite things to do. I love having insightful conversations with people and doing little things like sharing "On This Day" via instagram stories. That goes for music, sports, race relations...just anything I find interesting or something that I connect with that I think people should know!

Well I hope you all enjoyed this post, as I have really enjoyed being transparent with you all about a tough time and I pray that this post actually speaks to someone as they read it!
Until next time...

-xoxo

Angie

Mental Wellness Challenge: Day 1

So for those of you who follow me on social media (All platforms = @absolutelyad ) then you'd know that I started a mental wellness challenge!

I wanted to start something that will get the conversation about mental wellness and mental health awareness started, but also make it something enjoyable.

So for day 1 I began with something I think we all enjoy, which is music. I know for me, music is something that I can't live without and it definitely is something that I turn to no matter what emotion I am feeling. In regards to the challenge, I definitely have a go-to playlist which I call "Vibin'." This is a playlist that gives me all the good vibes that I need when I'm not having a good day or even when I am and it's one of those, "let me just chill" days. A few of the artists that are on my playlist are Anita Baker, Jhene Aiko, Daniel Caesar, and Xavier Omar.

If you don't have a playlist like this, I suggest and CHALLENGE you to make one. You don't have to use the particular artists that I named, add artists that make music that puts you at ease. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, want to set the mood for a chill day, or you need to unwind for the day..cut this playlist on and VIBE.

Well guys...this post was short and simple, not too much to get into, but if you would like me to share my playlist or want to share yours with me, feel free! Thanks for reading and if you are joining me on the mental wellness challenge, use the hashtag #13914MWC, I appreciate the love!

-xoxo

Angie

My Best Friend Changed My Life

So in my last blog post, I talked about me being a troll, the trolliest of trolls actually...but I’m a changed woman now, somewhat. Anyways, this post is about me progressing and growing in another way, through journaling.

For those of you who don’t know me, my temperament can be VERY terrible, my fuse is super short, well it used to be. Now it takes a little bit more for me to go off on or go in on someone, regardless of who you are, and it's definitely less exhausting of a process. I'm not exactly sure when my anger became a real issue for me or even when it started to build up , but over the past few years I noticed that it had become a problem. A problem that affected some my friendships and even relationships in the workplace as far as saying and doing things that have gotten me written up.

STORY TIME: While in college, I worked as a server believe it or not and my attitude and temperament didn't affect my tips, I made pretty good money; my attitude did however affect my relationship with management at times. One time in particular, a couple came in and ordered a specific dish that featured 3 of our popular items and wanted to substitute one of the items for double of another, sounds like a simple, non-issue order right? Normally it wouldn't have been, but this day we were 86 (that means out of an item in restaurant terms) that item they wanted double of. I knew this when they ordered, so I let them know before I walked to the kitchen that I JUST came out of where I was told we were out. So of course the man is throwing a fit asking me how we're out of that item when it's key to the cuisine we serve. So I'm on the verge of asking him "Dude, if I had control over that, do you think I'd be taking your order right now," instead I politely asked him if he'd like something else and of course he says no and proceeds to leave, which in turn I'm like okay...have a great day. If you thought I was about to pacify you because your coping skills over something so stupid is at a negative 10 right now, then you thought wrong. So as I'm waiting to be sat with another table, my manager chases them down out of the door and talks to them, convinces them to come back in, and seats them at the same table. So of course the guy is like "well your manager just said you had that item," I replied, "well we must have just gotten more, we always run out, and I wouldn't have made that up." [Like fam...I work off tips, you think I'm just out here trying to make this job even more difficult? pipe down] On my way back to the kitchen, my manager rushes up to me and is like "Angela, why did you say we were 86 ______?" and at this point I'm irritated and over it. Y'all were too incompetent to make sure we had enough of our most popular menu item and it's my fault I told the truth? OH. So...I answered his question, by replying " Because we were 86 _______," but I mocked him and mirrored his mannerisms...body language...voice...everything...I didn't have the time. I walked off and proceeded to go about my workday, in which that couple ended up tipping me EXTREMELY well. At the end of my shift, my manager wanted me to come in the office and sign a write up, I'm like for what? His fragility got the best of him and my anger got the best of me, getting me written up for being insubordinate and I realize now, he was right. I could have handled this situation a lot better.

FAST FORWARD to earlier this year, I went on a family trip and my best friend came as well. So one of those days we were talking and I was irritated and angry about something, and he looked at me and asked if I've tried journaling before. He proceeded to tell me that he used to deal with anger and an incident happened where he started writing in a journal/notebook and it changed his life. He's a very happy, positive, and easy going person and that alone attracts all the right things and people to him, so that sparked something in me. I'd heard of the idea of journaling before and never tried it...but in that particular moment, knowing that someone I was close to recognized that my temperament and short fuse was a problem, that they'd been there before, and found something that worked for them, I thought to myself, "why not?" I figured if it would help my attitude and I could exude light and be a light to others as he is for me, then I probably should try it out...and so I did...and...IT WORKED/WORKS.

I looked up different journaling ideas on Pinterest and one concept in particular caught my eye. It was Bible inspired and didn't require much of anything, just a notebook, and a willingness to be open to being a better person. I made my own index to keep it somewhat structured as far as pages go and to help me see the progress that I make daily regarding the things I talk about to God and how I handled them. I also included a section to express gratitude in addition to my gratitude journal that I have, prayers for others, and praise reports.

Journaling definitely requires a willingness to be consistent in the beginning until it comes a routine to you and you HAVE to do it, otherwise your day is thrown off, and believe me, when I don't I definitely notice a difference. Being able to get my thoughts out whether negative or positive and go to God about them makes me feel like a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders. Whenever I feel angry about something or feel myself about to go in about something or someone, I go to my journal and let it out and let God handle it. He wants us to lay our worries down, our battles down, and anything else we may be facing and let Him fight for us, and journaling has really allowed me to do that.

I am so grateful that God used my best friend to reach me in a life-changing way. It's not just as simple as putting words on paper.... it's the fact that through journaling I am able to express myself in a way that I love doing which is through writing, but it's allowed me to go to God first with every worry and burden, to trust him, not let my anger get the best of me, and become a better woman and Christian.

If you've ever thought about journaling and you don't know where to begin, you can look on Pinterest for ideas or you can just simple grab a notebook and start writing. It doesn't matter how much you write, it's about releasing whatever you need to and letting God handle it from there. He knows what you need before you even say it or think it, so it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be.